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Maybe it's just built into "the system." But one thing's for sure: I'm not alone. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex.

They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage.

That's something you won't see on TV or in the movies, but it happens a lot. The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me.

Mainly because when I was in college, sex was my "god." As a male, it's what I thought about morning, noon and night. If you have, you should stop and consider, "Why is that?

But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship.In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it. For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level.And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart.I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people.And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is. Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me.One thing I've learned: if a girl doesn't trust a guy, she doesn't want to give herself wholly to him.But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public.And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either.And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife.

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