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Meet Up advertises events that happen all over the world, and they have some oddly specific events.
For example, if you're a libertarian vegetarian who lives in Minnesota and you like dressing in clown make-up and juggling live sharks, there's probably a meet-up for that. Cause it's not like you don't already have 30 million bajillion things to do. If you do it regularly, you'll meet people who care about the same things you care about.
Adults who embrace “aggressive friending” or radical responsibility for making friends are the ones who do. One myth about making friends is that we have to be fascinating, charismatic, or hilarious to charm others into liking us.
Inviting a coworker to get coffee, attending events, taking classes, introducing yourself to others at your gym class, and going to meetups. But being the type of person who others like is not about being particularly impressive, but rather about showing liking and affirmation towards others. Think about it, who would you rather be friends with: someone charismatic or someone who makes you feel comfortable and accepted? Here’s why making friends takes security: it’s awfully exposing to try to connect with another person. Secure people assume that others like them, and this helps them gain the courage to initiate interactions and persevere in building friendships.
Friendship is cultivated through spending time together, and your friendship will likely transform the more you get to know each other. Taking radical responsibility in your friendship-making also means that you take it upon yourself to reach out.
Staying optimistic about new friends (and not making snap judgments about friendship potential), continuing to show up at social gatherings, and checking in. When you meet someone initially, make sure you follow up and find more time to connect.
It’s hard work to make friends as an adult, the kind of work that many of us are not prepared for since it used to be effortless.
If you have your gab session at a park, you don't even have to clean your house or make (buy) snacks.But making friends as an adult is more like seeing the gynecologist. Where do you start without resorting to combing loud bars filled with people who are actually as young as you feel but who look like middle schoolers? I can't guarantee you won't feel like you're about to get the speculum or that you won't fall on your face and spill something that stains on something really expensive. But the actually doing it...well, it's about as fun as a brief encounter with a freezing cold speculum while your panties are in a wad on a plastic chair in a freezing cold (and poorly lit) office. OK, so maybe I'm being dramatic, but unless you're one of those natural social butterflies or one of the rare birds who still regularly hangs out with all your high school friends, finding new people is tough. Even science has looked at the issue of adult friendships and found that without serious work, it's basically all downhill once you hit your late 20s.Even when we are surrounded by people, we may still be clueless about how to turn those people into friends. When we were younger, we used to find ourselves in contexts that had all the ingredients for nurturing friendships: continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability.As I’ve been writing a book on making friends as an adult, I’ve come to recognize the various abilities that each of us can cultivate in order to make friends. As adults, we no longer inhabit these contexts by default.Being one of those workaholic, live-in girlfriends myself, I’ve shopped for friends on Hey Vina! So don’t be like the average American—go make new buds, now. Making friends when you're younger just happens naturally. So what do you do if you wake up one morning and realize you don't have any people?Ultimately, secure people are assured that they are likable and have value to offer another person. Making friends is a process that many of us don’t feel like we have the time or energy for.Not taking another person’s response to you personally, assuming others have positive intent (they probably got really busy and didn’t respond, rather than they hate me so they didn’t respond), assuming that others like you until they explicitly indicate otherwise, and having a kind internal dialogue. Even after we initiate, it may be easy to fall off and for our blossoming friendships to peter out.Compliment others, tell someone a moment when you thought about them when they were not around, scan for traits to like in people you meet, share if someone made you see something in a new light, and show enthusiasm when greeting people. When someone does reject them, they know that it doesn’t mean anything about who they are.They are also not quick to assume rejection in an ambiguous circumstance.