Free transgender dating
As I click, message and swipe through the world of online dating, I’ve quickly learned that there are at least three different types of guys: those who fetishize trans women, those who are curious but cautious, and those who simply don’t read.
Unfortunately, these labels don’t appear on their profiles.
So, whenever I see 6’2″ or taller on a guy’s profile, it’s almost an automatic right swipe.
As a trans woman on dating apps, I’ve always made sure that guys are aware that I am transgender. There have also been many documented cases of trans women being hurt and sometimes even killed when they disclose their status to transphobic men that found them attractive, so being completely transparent is also a way of protecting myself from potentially dangerous situations.
These are men who find me attractive, but are initially hesitant because of my trans-ness.
With these men, I went on dates in public at the movies, or a chill restaurant, and I was viewed as more than a new sexual experience—but I don’t think I was seen as potential relationship material either. We vibed well and there was sexual tension building during our dates. After a month, he reached out to me saying he couldn’t be with me because I am transgender.
These guys want to chill somewhere less public or exclusively at their place so they won’t be seen with me.
I have actually “dated” (if you can even call it that) some of these men, including one guy who checked his apartment’s hallway to make sure his neighbours wouldn’t see me leave his place.
They view me as exotic, a kink, something new to try.
After realizing that I deserved so much better and was wasting my time with these guys, I stopped giving them attention.
After one too many encounters with men who were fetishizing me, I started to spend time on guys who actually wanted to get to know me.
However, I recently went on a date with a guy who was tall, handsome, funny and had his shit (relatively) together. I responded saying it was all over my Ok Cupid profile, which it turns out he never read.
We met in the late afternoon and enjoyed our frozen yogurt in perfect patio weather. At the end of the date, our first kiss quickly turned into a handsy makeout session in the backseat of my car. He said, “I’m bouncing; that’s f-cked up,” and jumped out of the car, spat on the ground, slammed the car door and walked away.