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It’s important that you feel ready and confident in your decisions about having sex.
Even if you are in a healthy relationship and would like to have sex with your partner, some beliefs or expectations might make this decision more complicated.
A relationship will be stronger and more real when both people can truly be themselves both inside and outside of the bedroom.
When we question these “rules,” we respect our partner for who they are instead of who they “should be.” Sexual abuse is any type of unwanted sexual contact.
A guy might be led to believe that he should have sex with a lot of girls and not get emotionally attached to them.
On the other hand, a girl might be led to believe that having sex with too many guys is “slutty,” and that girls should “play hard to get.” Stereotypes like these can make it harder for everyone to be honest about what they really want and can also make them feel self-conscious.
If you are thinking about when to have sex, keep in mind: Having sex can raise the intensity of emotions that people feel for each other — whether you’re in a serious or casual relationship.
At times, this elevation is a good and enjoyable thing, but sometimes it makes a difficult situation worse.
Source: Adapted from Busby, Carroll, and Willoughby (2010). The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships. Note: Figure depicts mean scores reported by spouses in three sexual timing groups on relationship satisfaction, perceived relationship stability, sexual quality, and communication.
You and the people in your life might have different ideas about when or what type of sexual activity is alright and what is not.
Here are a few ways this might happen: You might feel like you’re choosing between what you want and what others want, yet you might also share some of the same beliefs.
You may feel comfortable kissing or holding hands but not want to go any further. Deciding whether you want to have sex or when you should is a decision you should make when it feels right for YOU.
In a healthy relationship, your partner respects your decisions, even if they don’t like them.